This amount of arrogance, the sheer impardonable pretension, is bound to be popular.
Cyberbulling is a crime. If you wouldn't say it on Twitter, why say it in a blog post? If Brandon Kiser really is "a big dumb stupidhead", and not the hapless victim of a strangely fitting insult, then this post will probably be just what he deserves.
Ted Kennedy died and made the long trip South. After his many years in the Senate, he expected as much. Beelzebub greeted him, and asked which sector of Hades he would like to enter.
“Whichever one has the hottest women and the coldest Scotch”, answered the Lion of the Senate.
“OK, but that’s a long way away, in the circle for Envy”, replied the Father of Lies.
Unfamiliar with the territory and unaccustomed to making his own arrangements, the liberal royal family member ordered “Call me a car”.
“Of course, Mr. Kennedy,” Satan said, and dialed his phone. “Oh Mary Jo … our bargain is complete. Your fare is here.”
President Obama threw out the first pitch at the MLB All-Star Game.
It did not bounce before getting to the catcher. That bactrian trajectory is a new pitch perfected by Obama in preparation for the game.
The president threw out the first pitch without a teleprompter.
There is no evidence that the Commander-in-Chief was distracted by a hot Brazilian teenager, nor even that any were present at the game.
For clear-headed, outside-the-box thinking to diagnose the troubles currently befuddling his Party, his country, and indeed the very human race, FrankJ of IMAO has won the Socrates' Academy Wisdom and Sobriety "Really Smart Blogger Award" award.
That would be an awful thing to say. So why are people trying to say that Barack Obama is a miserable failure? It isn't right. It isn't fair.
OK, so maybe it's fair.
Now that a goose group has claimed responsibility for the forced landing in the Hudson, I fear a backlash against all geese. We must know that this is only a splinter faction, and doesn't respresent the attitude of all geese, and certainly not of fowl generally.
So I will not tolerate any intolerance against geese, ducks, loons, chickens, or turkeys here.
As we approach the Inauguration, and President Bush gets the sack, Tommy Christopher at the Political Machine really has the feel of the Presidential balls.
He notes that the size of the balls is important, but the main thing is to have an even number of them.
Barack Obama will be taking a personal interest in the Presidential balls, and Michelle Obama will be, as well. The Obamas, both personal fitness devotees, will doubtless avoid any needlessly sweaty balls. With as many balls needing the pair's attention, things could get quite hairy.
Christopher also proves that President Clinton had more balls than Obama, and you can read his post for the details.
As Todd at VC reminds us, today is the traditional celebration of Festivus.
So let the airing of grievances begin. I myself have no grievances, preferring to hold all of my troubles inside and finally melt down one day outside a Kroger.
NDA: UR terist!1!!
Pak: UR infidL!!1!
NDA: UR unclen etr of ded things
Pak: mmm - tasT cows! LOL!!1!
NDA: unclen h8tr
Pak: U wash w/ p00
NDA: UR 3d world country liv in hut
Pak: will pwn U w/ nuke
NDA: from fish boat, terist?
Pak: from sutcas, infidL!!1!
NDA: 3d world country: no sutcas!1!! use fish boat!1!!
Pak: 1st world country w/ nuk 4 U!!1!
Pak: U ansr fon 4 joos & wash w/ p00
NDA: have job, not liv n hut lyk U
Pak: liv n city & eat tasT cows LOL!!1!
NDA: not aftr nuk on grass roof LOL!1!!
Pak: ur bom ki11 r cows 2 LOL!!1!
NDA: betr ded than smel ur stink
Pak: U stink !
NDA: O good 1 dum455!1!!
Pak: Dingaling oo! git fon iz joos!
NDA: LOL hear dat? iz osama? nope fon not ring cuz no fon in hut LOL!1!!
Pak: 3G ifon w/apps & not smel lyk p00
NDA: tru dat lyk on fish boat!1!! nuke on way kwik hide LOL put on burka!1!!
Some things never change. The tiniest of errors often do, under the fog of war, lead to the greatest disasters.
And so it is with Mumbai. Who knew that, for lack of a simple memo, hundreds of people had to die?
Despite all of the fanfare surrounding his election as President, Barack Obama (D-IL) has announced he will step down from his U.S. Senate seat effective today. The embattled politician, who has never been convicted of any criminal activity, claims that his resignation was due to conflicts with his duties as President, a job he will not start for months.
Constitutionally forbidden from holding both offices at once and under a cloud of lawsuits and corruption allegations, Obama has left the task of choosing his replacement to the nation's least popular governor, Rod Blagojevich (D-Chicago), who is also the target of a federal corruption investigation.
Lawsuits challenging Barack Obama's eligibility to become President have popped up all across the country.
At issue is whether Obama was born in the United States. Naturalized citizens are not elibible for the Presidency.
And it's not just former Pennsylvania Attorney General Philip J. Berg filing suit. Plaintiffs ranging from ordinary citizens to former Obama opponent Alan Keyes have sued seeking release of basic documentation such as the former Senator's birth certificate.
Many legal experts believe the seriousness of these charges warrants a hearing by the Supreme Court, so that all Americans can be confident that our President is actually eligible to hold the office for which he was chosen.
Much earlier. But the 1600-year-old Philogelos: The Laugh Addict contains just the one-liner,
A man complains that a slave he was sold had died.not a fully developed sketch.
"When he was with me, he never did any such thing!"
Frank J takes hyperbole and gives it snark, but Iowahawk has defines this whole 'nother category:
Yes, I know there are probably other African-Americans much better qualified and prepared for the presidency. Much, much better qualified. Hundreds, easily, if not thousands, and without any troubling ties to radical lunatics and Chicago mobsters. Gary Coleman comes to mind. But let's not let that distract us from the fact that Mr. Obama's election represents a profound, positive milestone in our country's struggle to overcome its long legacy of racial divisions and bigotry. It reminds us of how far we've come, and it's something everyone in our nation should celebrate in whatever little time we now have left.
Over at Ace of Spades HQ, commenter Nicole writes:
Today I referred to my hair as "brown" ("dark brown" to be exact). I then proceeded to say "I hate the color brown--it's not strong enough; it's boring."
Am I a racist?
Yes, Nicole, you are a racist. Not for hating the color brown, but because you used the word "dark" in a potentially insensitive manner that could incite hatred. Shame on you. The only way to absolve yourself from this unspeakable act is to dye your hair blue and vote for Obama.
ACORN (Asinine Communists for Obama RegistratioN) have filed a lawsuit on behalf of a group of silent, powerless victims.
Barack Obama's parents met because they needed medical insurance to get to Selma.
Michelle Obama's parents met because they resented not having a personal trainer who knew the value of fresh fruit.
Jesus once had a Come To Barack moment.
When Barack Obama comes, he will make the oceans salty again.
When Barack Obama comes, children will like going to school again.
When Barack Obama comes, frog legs will taste like chicken.
When Barack Obama comes, judges will know how to write laws.
Barack Obama's uncle grandfather great uncle imaginary friend helped free Auschwitz and Treblinka Buchenwald.
Barack Obama fosters a workplace that is open and sensitive to the personal needs of staff before they are unceremoniously fired for the candidate's mistakes.
Barack Obama feels that it's important to shield his wife from criticism, which is why he asks her to make campaign speeches critical of America.
Barack Obama didn't even know Tony Rezko before they bought a house together.
Barack Obama's birth certificate doesn't say he's not a Muslim.
Barack Obama doesn't wear a helmet when he rides a limousine.
