BDS offsets available - Act Now!

In the interest of Global Sustainability and justice for the downtrodden, The Academy is now making available, for a limited time only, BDS offset credits. The credits will be denominated in "whacks", with the price schedule ¹ as follows.

• Claiming not to like President Bush -- 1 whack
• Use of the phrase "Chimpy McBushitler" -- 3 whacks
• "No WMD" - 5 whacks
• Claiming BushLied™ - 5 whacks
• Rehashing a 9/11 conspiracy - 5 whacks
• Linking Halliburton with 9/11 - 5 whacks
• Bush Theocracy™ - 20 whacks
• Bush Dictatorship - 20 whacks
• Bush Controlled by Israel - 40 whacks
• Identifying brand new 9/11 conspiracy - 40 whacks
• Media is conservative, soft on Bush - contact us ³
• Islamofascists are victims, Bush the real villain - don't bother

• ¹ Prices subject to market pressure and change without notice or explanation.
• ² By sending money, you agree not to receive anything in return.
• ³ If you prefer, remove any tinfoil or metal covering from your head and step outside (there is no longer any need to wait for daylight or use a cellphone, as these system quirks have been resolved) You may then recover your head if desired. Our people will be contacting you shortly.
  

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