Wednesday, March 14, 2007

BDS offsets available - Act Now!

In the interest of Global Sustainability and justice for the downtrodden, The Academy is now making available, for a limited time only, BDS offset credits. The credits will be denominated in "whacks", with the price schedule 1 as follows.

  • Claiming not to like President Bush -- 1 whack
  • Use of the phrase "Chimpy McBushitler" -- 3 whacks
  • "No WMD" - 5 whacks
  • Claiming BushLied™ - 5 whacks
  • Rehashing a 9/11 conspiracy - 5 whacks
  • Linking Halliburton with 9/11 - 5 whacks
  • Bush Theocracy™ - 20 whacks
  • Bush Dictatorship - 20 whacks
  • Bush Controlled by Israel - 40 whacks
  • Identifying brand new 9/11 conspiracy - 40 whacks
  • Media is conservative, soft on Bush - contact us 3
  • Islamofascists are victims, Bush the real villain - don't bother


  • 1 Prices subject to market pressure and change without notice or explanation.
  • 2 By sending money, you agree not to receive anything in return.
  • 3 If you prefer, remove any tinfoil or metal covering from your head and step outside (there is no longer any need to wait for daylight or use a cellphone, as these system quirks have been resolved) You may then recover your head if desired. Our people will be contacting you shortly.


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