Monday, November 20, 2006

Rangelian Dreams

Over at Redstate, blogger Steven lampoons Charlie Rangel (D-Oceania) for calling for a draft. Steven's plan would

...remove liars, cheats, thieves, and whoremongers from Congress and replace them with Midwestern farmers, New Jersey mechanics, Texas ranchers, and various small businessmen from all the other states.

But really, that proposal barely scratches the surface of the wonders available if the world only operated the way Charlie Rangel thinks it does.

In the Rangelian world, we would have not only Congressmen picked at random from the population (as is only fair), but government employees at all levels would be assigned based on a lottery system. In particular, police and firefighters would not have to go through the humiliation of testing to get their positions, but anyone who met the basic requirements could potentially be put in those slots. There's not much to being a cop, fireman, or EMT, after all.

In the Rangelian world, since medical treatment is a government function, people would be picked off the street to become doctors, nurses, rape counselors, and forensic technicians. Just imagine: a fellow could be selling drugs on the corner one day, and filling prescriptions the next! There's not much to being a doctor, counselor, or pharmacist, after all.

In the land of Rangel, graduates of our finest schools, with advanced degrees in nuclear physics, biomechanics, and history would have the opportunity to study the complex operation of a toll road from the inside, as booth operators.

Former students of philosophy, currently underemployed as stock analysts and salesmen, could put their years of study spent to gain mastery of deep subjects to better use, laying down a layer of covering fire for the repositioning of a rifle squad. There's not much to military work, after all.

The simple beauty of Rangel's plan leaves only one question.

Hey, Charlie! What color is the sky in your world?

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