Friday, January 09, 2009

Key Unemployment Forecast Rises as Illinois Leads Nation

Unemployment among the nation's governors is expected to rise by 2% next month, a level not seen since the 1980's. The Illinois rate is forecast at 100% following action by the State Legislature.

Gubernatorial unemployment has been at a historical low of 0% for the past two decades or more. The move in Illinois is expected to dramatically increase the unemployment numbers, experts agree.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Chicago) blamed the move on a conspiracy by those who oppose his efforts to take care of sick people. The conspirators, meanwhile, blamed the move on the Governor's personal inability to tell the truth.

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Anonymous said...

You have a non-zero, long-term running average! What's the standard deviation? (You're funnier than Frank J. - and he's been flat lately talking about conservative actors.) :-) JimmyBoom

Loren Heal said...

I'm funnier than Frank J.? I just report the news, sir. Frank is the news.

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