The Goracle of Jon Cary

John Kerry has led an interesting life. The trouble is that during much of it, he's been stalking Al Gore.

Gore went to an Ivy League school; Kerry went to an Ivy League school.¹
Gore smoked dope; Kerry was a dope.
Gore went to Nam; Kerry went to Nam.²
Gore invented the Internet; Kerry invented cookies.³
Gore ran for the Senate; Kerry ran for the Senate.
Gore ran for President and lost to George Bush, claiming to have been cheated out of victory; Kerry ran for President and lost to George Bush, claiming to have been cheated out of victory.
Gore stumps for global warming; Kerry stumps for global warming.

I'm not sure what's next for Kerry, but if he wants to get an Oscar for a film involving Theresa, let's hope he leaves out the love scenes.

[shivers]

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Notes (because documentation is important):

¹(Yes, I know Kerry went to Yale before Gore created Harvard. That was the first of many such Kerry tricks, giving the appearance of acting on his own. Quit taking me so seriously.)
²(See, Kerry just couldn't wait to go to Nam and copy Gore!)
³(Yes, I know Gore didn't invent the Internet. He created it. Likewise, Kerry didn't invent cookies. He created a cookie recipe ... well, he created his mother's recipe ... same thing!)

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