Who Says Barack Obama is a Miserable Failure?

That would be an awful thing to say. So why are people trying to say that Barack Obama is a miserable failure? It isn't right. It isn't fair.

OK, so maybe it's fair.

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Obama Facts, Post-Inauguration Edition

Barack Obama took the oath of office for the first time since Abraham Lincoln.

Barack Hussein Obama can spell his own name.

Jesus walked on water; Barack Obama can emerge from the cesspool of Chicago politics and not smell like sewage -- (Rush Limbaugh).

Barack Obama has arms so long he can put one around Michelle and walk alongside.

George Bush liberated Iraq; Barack Obama fixed that by liberating Gitmo.

Barack Obama was elected, and now Global Warming is not a problem.

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Obama To Save Millions of Jobs; Hamas to Save Millions of Israelis

Over at The Minority Report, Mike DeVine says:

Obama first promised to create 2 million jobs in two years, then said he would create or “save” three million. Currently, over 154 million Americans are employed. We do not believe that even the disastrous policies of Obama and the Democrats will force more than 151 million out of work. At the end of 2009 and even 2010, more than three million jobs will have been “saved”.

Similarly, by having such keen grasp of the military arts, the geniuses at Hamas have cleverly avoided hitting very many Israelis with the hundreds of rockets they have fired at Israel. Thus, in a display of unprecedented liberality, they have spared millions of Israelis.

And yet, still I side with Israel.

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TPM Watch: Ed Kilgore

Tee hee:

It seems to me that conservatives today have almost completely internalized their own rhetoric about Obama's "radicalism," "socialism," "anti-Americanism," and so forth. If you have read or listened to movement conservative pundits recently, it's hard to avoid the impression that they truly think this temperate man pursuing Clinton-style centrist policies is determined to enact "socialized medicine," create vast new "welfare" programs, legalize infanticide, surrender to terrorists, and use the power of the state to censor or perhaps even jail his opponents.

Now where would we get that stuff? It's not like we invented Obama. He is who he is.

Saying we have had to convince ourselves of Obama's shortcomings is amusing, but the emphasized part above is a real hoot.

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Reporter Proves Obama not a US Citizen

Clicky title to read what Frank J the investigator says.

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Obama Sends Up Another Version of How He Met Bill Ayers

From Politico(via Gateway Pundit who has much more) Saith The One:

"The gentleman in question, Bill Ayers, is a college professor, teaches education at the University of Illinois," he said. "That's how i met him -- working on a school reform project that was funded by an ambassador and very close friend of Ronald Reagan's" along with "a bunch of conservative businessmen and civic leaders."[Academy emphasis added]

But Obama campaign manager David Axelrod said (and the received history has it) that Obama, fresh from suing Citibank into making a bunch of bad loans, met Ayers at the fashionable Hyde Park residence Ayers occupies with wife the former terrorist Bernadine Dohrn.

So which is it? And why the obfuscation?

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ACORN Fights Back

ACORN (Asinine Communists for Obama RegistratioN) have filed a lawsuit on behalf of a group of silent, powerless victims.

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Barry Facts -- Obama Family Edition

Barack Obama's parents met because they needed medical insurance to get to Selma.

Michelle Obama's parents met because they resented not having a personal trainer who knew the value of fresh fruit.

Jesus once had a Come To Barack moment.

When Barack Obama comes, he will make the oceans salty again.

When Barack Obama comes, children will like going to school again.

When Barack Obama comes, frog legs will taste like chicken.

When Barack Obama comes, judges will know how to write laws.

Barack Obama's uncle grandfather great uncle imaginary friend helped free Auschwitz and Treblinka Buchenwald.

Barack Obama fosters a workplace that is open and sensitive to the personal needs of staff before they are unceremoniously fired for the candidate's mistakes.

Barack Obama feels that it's important to shield his wife from criticism, which is why he asks her to make campaign speeches critical of America.

Barack Obama didn't even know Tony Rezko before they bought a house together.

Barack Obama's birth certificate doesn't say he's not a Muslim.

Barack Obama doesn't wear a helmet when he rides a limousine.

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Groups for Obama to Join ... or Not.

Barack Obama resigned his membership in Trinity United Church of Christ. Frank J wonders what groups he will leave next. Clearly some of his associations in the past have served him well at the time, but now are perhaps not generating the kind of support he'll need if he's going to defeat the Bob Barr in November. So I wonder what other groups he will now join?

• Not MENSA (too populist)
• Not Mothers Against Drunk Driving (too divisive)
• He will not join Code Pink (too hawkish)
• Will now boycott Pizza Hut (for not enough grease on their pizza)
• Will join La Raza, because he likes the sound of reuniting
  
• Will resign from the Senate for limiting their membership to 50
  
• Will join U.S. Government because even though they're not spending enough, he can Change that
  
• Will denounce the Red Cross for being too political
  
• Will join the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), because they're just nice people

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Friday Barry Facts

True Facts about Barack Obama

Barack Obama can light a match with his bare hands.

Barack Obama is so patriotic that he wears an American flag lapel pin.

Barack Obama hates abortion so much that he has never had one.

Barack Obama once smoked ... and that once is now.

Barack Obama can ride an escalator with no hands.

Barack Obama will be the President of all 57 States.

Barack Obama has never had public relations with Jeremiah Wright.

Barack Obama is so fast he can turn off the lights and be in bed before morning.

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Still More Facts Emerge on Obama

Barack Obama has never opposed legislation to decriminalize cotton candy.

Barack Obama is not really an Islamic extremist.

Michelle Obama puts on the family pants one leg at a time.

Barack Obama doesn't accept thin dimes from corporate lobbyists.

Barack Obama is so liberal that he has not forced Michelle to wear a burka.

Barack Obama puts on his traditional macaawiis one leg at a time.

Barack Obama can turn hot water into whine.

Barack Obama can tie his own tie.

Barack Obama is so sensitive to racism of all types that he can detect it at a distance of 20 pew-years.

Barack Obama is so centrist he wants infanticide to be safe, legal, and rare.

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More Barry Facts

Barack Obama: "America is the greatest country on Earth, except for all the others."

Barry once rode a bicycle ... without training wheels.

Barry can walk and chew gum, all at the same time.

Barack Obama eats breakfast for breakfast.

Barack Obama is such a warrior that he once watched Saving Private Ryan on videotape, not DVD.

Barack Obama was so outraged by Jeremiah Wright that practically took him out of his Five.

Barack Obama climbs stairs without holding the rails.

[See the rest...]

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Move Over, Chuck Norris

There's a new demigod in town:

Barack Obama is so manly that he once got a haircut and passed on the talcum powder.

Barack Obama once scuffed his shoe and walked around with it like that all day -- on purpose.

Barack Obama once bowled his age.

Barack Obama is in his wife's Five.

Barack Obama once bit the head off a Tootsie Roll almost all at once.

Very Barry, puddin' n' pie, kissed a girl and made himself cry.

Barack Obama doesn't take money from lobbyists -- he hires them.

Barack Obama is so patriotic that he votes in almost every Senate session.

Barack Obama can file his own fingernails.

The American Flag is so patriotic it doesn't have to wear an Obama lapel pin.

Barack Obama is so centrist that he is friendly with people who believe the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

Barack Obama is happy that the Red Sox beat the curse and won the Super Bowl.

Barack Obama is so bipartisan that he may give Cabinet spots to Hillary supporters.

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