Thursday, May 10, 2007

How can I Compare the Speaker-In-Law?

To the Nation's Mother-in-Law, the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, whose strategy for moving the country forward has thus far failed to generate any actual new laws, to the Speaker-in-Law whose effort to move the country forward has thus far failed because: President Bush dares give voice to his opinion after signing (or as is becoming blessedly more common, not signing) the legislation she has finally finished reading.

The Speaker-in-Law™ is like that guy in the TV commercial flipping a light switch off, on, off, on ... "Honey, what's this doing?" She tells him it's not doing anything. Meanwhile, the garage door opener is whacking away at the neighbor's car.

The Speaker-in-Law is like a kid who finds an old tarnished oil lamp, and takes it to the junk dealer to trade it for some nice marbles. The junk dealer rubs the lamp, and out comes the genie.

The Speaker-in-Law is like an octogenarian driving to bridge club in one of these:

The Speaker-in-Law is like the Molecule Man, before he figured out that his power to control the molecules in everything around him meant he could control the molecules in everything around him.

The Speaker-in-Law is like a person with the power to read minds who finds no better use of that power than to win at Bingo ... and never figures out that Bingo is not a game of skill.

The Speaker-in-Law is like a game show contestant who disovers that the game is harder before a live studio audience than in the home version.

The Speaker-in-Law is like a baseball player who toughs it out in the minors for many, many years, and when he finally gets his chance at the Show, really is "just happy to be in the big leagues".

The Speaker-in-Law has more power than all but about 3 people on the planet, and trapped in the cramped quarters of her own mental prison, she has no idea what to do with it.

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