Seeking Junior Senator for Major Midwestern State
Major Midwestern State seeks loyal political partisan to join our team in Washington. Duties include voting "present" on legislation, taking credit for the work of other Senators, and running for higher office. Position is traditionally a career destination, not a stepping stone, though recent turnover rates may signal a change. Other duties include:
- Steering Federal spending to the State
- Raising diversity of Senate
- Getting coffee for the Senior Senator (black, two sugars)
Contact: that's a little in flux right now.
The U.S. Government is an Equal Opportunity Employer. No experience necessary. Will train. U.S. Citizens only need apply. Proof of U.S. Citizenship optional.
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